Confessions of a Lifeguard

So, I haven't had a "confessions" post in a while, and I'm not really a student for the next few months, so I thought it might be interesting to confess the truths of lifeguarding...

For those who don't know, I have worked at the Roaring Springs lifeguard for 3 summers now, so you could say I'm experienced. I know the waterpark backwards and forwards. It was really fun the last two summers, but this year is not as fun. Maybe because these things have become more noticeable...

1. Confession 1. "Do you know CPR" Is THE WORST pickup line in the world. Seriously. Of course I know CPR, and no, we don't do mouth to mouth. 
2. I have learned that there are such things as dumb questions in life, but I had no idea how bad. "Will we get wet on this ride?" is hands down the dumbest question to ask in a WATERPARK. 
3. Lifeguards are exhausted. So don't screw with us. We sit anywhere from 5-12 hours in the sun, standing, walking, lifting rafts, and holding up to 650 pounds with our calves. Our hands are raw and peeled from holding the rafts for people. Hence the lack of patience when people are irritating. 
4. Not all lifeguards use the exact same rules. On the bottom of each rules sign of each attraction there is a rule that says, "Obey the lifeguards at all times." If we aren't comfortable with your behavior, we make that a rule on the spot. If the guest becomes upset, our boss will back us up 100%. 
5. In waterparks, or anywhere that has many dangerous things, the customer is NOT always right. 
6. All of the rules or things we yell at people for have an incredible purpose. People tend to think we want them to be miserable, but every rule will save lives. Especially the "No Running" rule.
7. We really don't get paid enough for what we do. Apparently, the lifeguards got paid $11 an hour. After the economy dropped in '08, they dropped it to around minimum wage. I'm a higher level lifeguard, so I get paid a little more, but not much. This results in a need for more hours, which results in more exhaustion, which results in cranky lifeguards.
8. This one is the main thing I want all parents to know: I wouldn't trust more than half of the lifeguards to save a kid's life. I know that is terrible, but it comes with experience. This is so important to know, because we are responsible for hundreds of people. Don't expect a lifeguard to pay "extra attention" to your kid. That's your job.
9. The lifeguards clean the park at night. After the park closes, we have to pick up the trash, move the furniture back in place, sweep the towers, and clean the parking lot. It sucks, and really has taught me the importance of not littering. I've had to pick up (with gloves on, THANK HEAVENS) full diapers, underwear, alcohol containers  (which have dripped all over my legs...), rotting food, hygiene products, band-aids, and many other disturbing and inappropriate things. 
10. The water is NASTY! I am always in shock when a parent doesn't scream at their children when they drink the water. The chlorinate it a lot, and often, but I've seen what's been in there. Dead animals, used hygiene products (ewwwwww), blood, pee, poop, spit, and pretty much anything else imaginable. I'm not saying don't go in it, because it is safe, but just don't drink it. And shower when you are done. 

This is a pretty short list of things I've learned, but they definitely are important. I guess with the new job coming that has much better things (and much cleaner things), it makes it harder to work at the waterpark knowing that something better is waiting.

Don't get me wrong. I love the waterpark, and all that they have done for me. But this job is one for younger kids that have the energy to work til midnight in the freezing cold, not for "old" people like me, who prefers to go to bed at 10, and stay inside all day. Maybe it is a sign that I'm growing up, that I need an "adult" job. This job has taught me lots of things, but I'm very glad to be moving on. WOO!