Confession #4...

AAAHHHH... Long time, no blog. :(
Oh well. So a brief rundown of life...

I said no to Disneyworld. It sounded like an amazing opportunity, but after much thought and prayer, I felt it wasn't for me.

Anatomy and Physiology is KICKING MY BUTT. Seriously. Try memorizing all of the muscles in your arm and not wanting to die.

I started my Math block class (which means I only have to take it for half of the semester). PIECE OF CAKE. I took Pre-cal and Statistics in high school, so a math class that appears to be basic algebra and logic is ridiculously boring. However, it is nice to have an easy class with stinking anatomy and French.

French... Is also kicking my butt. However, I got a 93% on my Oral Presentation midterm! Which was awesome, because I thought I bombed it. Super! (That's the only French exclamatory word I know, even if it has the same spelling in English. So just humor me and imagine me saying that with a lame accent and be impressed with my French.)

I totally thought I had mono last week, and kinda think I still do. I would sleep normally at night, and not be able to wake up, or would have to sleep at least 3 hours after class from over-exhaustion. I just felt like crap all of the time. My roommates even posted a very unattractive picture of me crashed on the couch. I'm getting better, thanks to excessive amounts of Nyquil for the past three nights. But I still missed church from feeling nauseated (I know, I'm a sinner. But I just want to die.)

I miss home SOOOOO much. When I went home for the weekend a few weeks ago, I was so happy to just be able to have alone time and just relax. I relax in my apartment a lot, but it isn't the same. I hate the coin slot washing machine, and the old dishwasher. I miss always having hot water, rather than sharing one boiler with 10 other girls. I miss my friends, that know everything about me, and hang out with me because they choose to, rather than because they live with me. Not that my roommates don't like me, we definitely get along, but it is a forced situation.

I miss the fields of western Idaho. I like having "Kalie time," whether it was driving around, or going running. But here, it's too cold to go running here outside, so I have to go on the track with other people. I have no car. So it feels like I'm never able to just clear my head, because there is always someone within fifty feet of you.

I miss Dutch Bros. It killed my wallet, but there was something therapeutic about just driving to go get a drink and just wondering around. The hot cocoa on campus is good, but it isn't the same experience.

I miss my family. A LOT. I can't even explain it. I miss the family ward. Single's ward is too quiet, and without my primary calling, it feel like I make no contribution. I just miss everything.

Well. That was a good venting session. In psychology, the professor was saying that scientifically, venting doesn't necessarily make you feel better. It's simply the placebo of thinking that it is therapeutic that makes it so. I love that I'm coming closer to whoever I'm supposed to be, but it's sad to realize I'm growing up. So many of my friends are married and pregnant, coming home from their missions, and starting their careers. I turn 19 within three months. It's sad to be putting away the things of the past, and frightening to be looking ahead to something unknown, but I'm grateful for the comfort in knowing that wherever I end up, it will all be okay.